Buying the house, here in the desert, then working with Jeannie the decorator to make it a beautiful home, has been so satisfying and cathartic. How many times have I thought about how much Ginger would have loved this project. I know for a fact that her design would have been far more elegant than my simple, masculine style of rustic dark woods and soft leather. Still, this is me, and it is feeling more like my "home" every day. I must admit that there is an awful lot of Ginger in this house. Several of our cherished furnishings and artifacts found a perfect place in the new house. In the yard I planted a small lemon tree. Ginger loved lemons. The yard has two large lemon trees already and just like the Trini Lopez song says" Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet". I am getting used to living alone again. I didn't know if I could. I know she thought I could not survive. I've just now begun to go through some grief counseling. They say everyone grieves in their own way and that it takes time. I have begun hiking some of the trails above Rancho Mirage including one called "the bump and grind".....which is a well deserved name. Today is a mellow Sunday. I have but a few errands then may relax in the pool or take a nap. Its not something I have done much - I am always so busy, driven at a frenetic pace, and yet I feel the need to slow it down a notch, at least for now. I know I remain stoic and somewhat aloof. I am not anti-social, just needing time to think and feel and find my true self again.
