Recently someone asked me how I was doing, after losing my wife Ginger, to cancer, a year ago. Further she stated that "the idea of finding new love must feel impossible after loving and being loved so deeply for so many years".......I thought about that for a while, because what she was saying was essentially true, yet the answer that I found was this: -----------------------------------
My perspective is that when I first met Ginger, those 29 precious years ago, I wasn't "looking" for love, AND, I didn't really know how special it could or would become. I didn't know it at that first meeting or even when we had been dating for months. It took months and years for that specialness to develop and be discovered between us. Certainly I adored her at first sight. She was not only stunningly beautiful but Ginger had a lovely countenance, a unique presence that lit the room. She turned all heads when she entered a venue. Yet the prized character attributes that we each discovered, in each other, we found moment by moment, bit by bit, like a child delighting in finding precious colored pebbles strewn along a long gray sandy beach............. I think, for me, IF love were to come again it would happen that way again.......without any plan or pretense, without any agenda or expectation.........someone will come along, and we will each feel at ease, and begin to have fun together and find that we like each other, and then find that we are interested in each other, then that we respect each other, then that we are happier together than apart, then that feeling of loving, needing, and the joy of selfless giving to each other...........and so on..............I can't imagine it happening any other way............and so, my answer is that I really don't think I can "find" love, as if on a treasure hunt..........I believe that love already exists in each of us, and when the right two people risk, sharing themselves with each other, then they may discover a love from within themselves, a love from, and for, the other.
