The Greatest Storms we will ever experience are within ourselves

As I write this many people are going through difficult economic times. This generally means that people are under stress and the problems within personal relationships are often magnified when financial issues are at play. Financial issues or problems with debt, income or managing money may be like a series of storms that hit and cause havoc in our lives. They are not unlike a medical crisis that not only affects us physically but also affects us emotionally with worry and fear, sometimes to great degrees of paralyzation and uncertainty. In my life I know that when trouble strikes I am inevitably reminded that I am not God, that I don't have the power to solve all my problems and that I need to "turn over" my sense of worry and fear to God or what others may call their "higher power". The "serenity prayer" is one of my strongest reminders of what I can and cannot do and when to let go and let God. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

Isolation may undermine our sense of self

I have learned that isolating is a "cover" for me and I don't think it is all good. For some reason I have a tendency to pull back, keep an arms length, turn away, or otherwise seek the shelter of isolation. I think it is an expression of fear or maybe low self-esteem (which is fear). Sometimes I isolate by doing social things. I go to a social event but talk to no one. I visit the bookstore and sit in a corner. I listen to my ipod in the midst of a crowded plane. I find that in much of my work I avoid face to face encounters. Its easier over the telephone or maybe by sending an email. I tend to withdraw from any type of commitment that would take me more than a few minutes. My reading or my writing would appear to be forms of isolating. I think I have always had this tendency to "hide" or to keep to myself. And yet few, even those who know me well, would think that I isolate. I think they would see me as outgoing, engaging and entertaining. I know I have a love of people and in many ways it is easy for me to be around people. But maybe that is the "rub". Maybe it is easier for me to be around people than it is to have them be around me? Maybe it is that part of me where somewhere deep inside I don't feel I can "let them in". I started this blog session with the idea that I would write about isolation. And I now sit and write in isolation. I know it feels "safe" but it also feels lonely on this mountain.