As I write this many people are going through difficult economic times. This generally means that people are under stress and the problems within personal relationships are often magnified when financial issues are at play. Financial issues or problems with debt, income or managing money may be like a series of storms that hit and cause havoc in our lives. They are not unlike a medical crisis that not only affects us physically but also affects us emotionally with worry and fear, sometimes to great degrees of paralyzation and uncertainty. In my life I know that when trouble strikes I am inevitably reminded that I am not God, that I don't have the power to solve all my problems and that I need to "turn over" my sense of worry and fear to God or what others may call their "higher power". The "serenity prayer" is one of my strongest reminders of what I can and cannot do and when to let go and let God. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
3 comments:
There was a time when I was consumed by fear - of everything - as my life was changing rapidly beyond my control, not unlike the current economic climate we are now witnessing. I felt as if I had zero control of almost anything significant in my life. And what I did have control over - my exercise and diet - I was unable to bring the force of focus to control. This winter lasted more than three years and untold suffering touched those I love most. In the end, of course, I survived. And what's more, I learned that I can survive anything. This might be a small price to pay for three years of my life.
Having experienced deep sadness as a mother, betrayal as a spouse, rejection as a daughter and indifference from my friends, I was given the opportunity to learn redemption as a mother, forgiveness as a spouse, understanding as a daughter and compassion as a friend. I effectively chose my own happiness. Aeschylus says it best: " And even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon our heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God".
What was interesting about my massive loss is that I lost so much that I lost the fear of losing! There seemed nothing more to lose. Oddly, once accustomed to losing, I ended up realizing that I had gained something - a freedom to be fearless. I gained a sense of determination in the face of my unknown future, resting squarely upon the acceptance of my past losses. This is boldly and brilliantly liberating! We are all prone to cling to the act of possession and achievement as markers of our importance. What if we let go - for some of us not willingly - to find a simpler, more fulfilling existence not based upon the accumulation of these external validations? This allows us to embrace a life with fewer complications, materially and psychologically. There exists a freedom in the act of a simple life.
Is it really true that there is nothing left to lose? I think that it is more accurate to say that there are always potentially things to lose but now I have the resilience to accept these losses. I now approach life with a remarkable calm, devoid of anxiety. I feel no compulsion to become fearful of the future or control outcomes. I keep my energies for the positive expression of a life built on the knowledge that I am equal to the task of living.
One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
A further reflection on "fear"
10.16.09
Mama's Daily Fluff:
Often fear is an indicator that you are on to something good, something really valuable.
- Mama Gena
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