Learning From Mistakes & Misadventures

It has been said that we learn much more from our mistakes and failures than we do from our successes. Also many people believe that setbacks, pain or even tragedy represent opportunities for personal growth and change. In his book "Clapton" the great guitarist Eric Clapton details years of personal relationship failures and severe character failings that left him fragile and vulnerable. All the while he was having tremendous professional and financial success while at the same time failing miserably in his personal life. Along the way he experienced the loss of family and friends, the death of his beloved son Conor and a downward spiraling existence that lead him to eventually try to commit suicide by swallowing an entire jar of Valium pills. On the surface, to outsiders, it looked like Eric Clapton "had it all". However he was desperate, alone and unable to cope. Fortunately for Clapton, he eventually was forced to confront his demons and in a moment of desperation he begged for Divine guidance as his only relief and hope of escaping his cycle of misery and self destruction. I think many of us are like Clapton. We lose focus, get off track and try to fix ourselves with "things" or others who tell us what we want to hear. We may be lost in denial and feel that no one could possibly understand us. In these moments our only hope is to learn from the cycle of our mistakes and misadventures and take action to make change within ourselves.

SUCCESS IS ABOUT CHOICES

Every choice you make, no matter how big or how small, takes you toward your goal or away from your goal. Consider that anything from use of time to your momentary mood can have the effect of helping or hindering the achievement of your objectives. Life is about making choices. At any moment we can completely change who we are, how we react to the situations and circumstances of our lives or what steps we take to create our own destiny. If your goal for the day is to complete several tasks, the choice to stay in bed an extra hour may make it difficult to get everything done. If your choice is to become a research scientist for NASA your choice to skip Calculus 101 could undermine your objectives. People who make wise choices are on top of their game. But not everyone finds it easy to make choices. Some people struggle with procrastination or indecision. Start out by making small choices. Get in the habit of making immediate choices and try not to delay decisions. Consider your daily, monthly, weekly annual or lifelong goals.......Think about how every action, every choice, takes you toward or away from your goal. Making choices and especially good choices that effect your progress, is a key component of achieving what you want in your life.

Our Purpose is to create!

One of the most fundamental truths is that our purpose during our time on earth is to create. I believe that GOD instills in each of us a special purpose and within that purpose is a dynamic and awesome creativity and ability to have original thought and original creativity. To be sure, we also are blessed with a "will" to choose whether we "tap into" or develop our creative skills or talents...but the important thing is that we are meant to create. The creative process may be developed over time, honed by experience or circumstance or simply fueled by inspiration, timing or the "forces" around us. Most people are most happy when they are creating.....and in creating they find that their natural skills, talents, abilities, desires all converge in the creative process. Creation comes in all shapes and forms. A mother or father, a worker, a teacher or student all create. Often the person who appears to be the "teacher" is the student and vice versa. I believe it is important to recognize and be conscious of our purpose to create because awareness and knowledge helps us to remove obstacles, most namely ourselves, in "tapping" into the source of our creativity. Magic occurs and miracles appear when someone discovers their creative purpose. Sometimes, in life, we get bogged down, reacting to our circumstance, problems, processes and the "daily grind" of life......and yet when we connect with our creativity.......we are energized and our passion to create can't be held back. We each have a responsibility to reach out a hand and to help others to find their creative purpose......sometimes by simply giving an encouraging word, by seeing others as they can be, not as they have been or as they are at this moment. We each also, have a responsibility to encourage ourselves, every day, to create something new........and to give of ourselves in a way that makes our life, and the lives of others more meaningful. Creating doesn't have to be anything that appears big in life......It doesn't have to be carving a statue of "David" or writing a hit song. It can simply be writing a few words in a journal or saying a kind word to someone in need........Invest in your life and in your world by living your purpose - Create!

The Truth

The biggest lies we tell are not the lies we tell to others but the lies we tell ourselves. I recently met someone who, in my opinion, lives a life of truth. She can be brutally honest and yet she is soft and deep inside. She has many great talents and yet I see honesty as one of her greatest strengths. By being herself and living with integrity and character she has helped me understand my faults and some changes I needed to make in my view of myself. This person is highly intelligent and doesn't seek to change anyone. She is an inspiration in many ways. There is a "sappy" line from a movie where the girl asks the guy "why do you love me, Jack"? And he says "because you make me want to be a better man"......and the audience laughs because coming from Jack Nicholson in any movie it's about as insincere as it can get.....and yet......when a person cares about you enough to make you want to have more integrity and more character......it must be a good thing and it must be truth in action. Less Lies, more truths and living more honestly.

Trust Your Inner Voice

So often it seems like we try to operate more from our intellect than our intuition. I have often felt and said that trusting my inner voice is one of the wisest things I could do and yet many times I failed to follow my own advice. Somehow logic seems safer than trusting my own voice. Of course many times, in situations or in experiences my inner voice and logic jive and in those times I am comforted that both choices coincide. The difficulties are in those moments when my inner voice is at odds with my logic. I think this must be true for the musician who's head says that he will never make a living playing music while his heart says he must keep playing to satisfy some deep inner need. It's also true for those of us whose parents wanted us to pursue some noble career and yet we wandered down some other path; hopefully a happier and more fulfilling one than they "wanted for us". I think this idea of trusting your inner voice then is really about faith and maybe about accepting or believing that God has a direction and purpose for us (that is different than where we are headed) and that despite everyone who encourages us to do one thing.....we find ourselves pulled in another direction, and IF that other direction is worthy, legal, honorable, fulfilling and giving....IF that inner voice leads us to or toward something that has a higher purpose....a Godly purpose, then how can we not follow our inner voice?

WORDS ARE THE SEEDS WE PLANT IN OUR HEARTS

Words, spoken or unspoken, are thoughts and ideas that shape our personal destiny. As such they are the "seeds"we plant, in our hearts, that grow into success or failure, love or hate, belief or disbelief in ourselves and in our lives. Of course we learn words from the time we are born, and we learn to use words to express what we see, think or feel. Early on we may be conditioned to use certain words and as such we may "mouth" someone else's ideas, thoughts or words. However, soon enough in childhood, we gain independent thought. From that time forward we are no longer bound by the words, thoughts or ideas of others. We may be affected by their words, but it is our success driven nature and our personal responsibility to speak our own thoughts. Whether we say "I can" or "I can't" becomes self fulfilling for uf for that particular problem, task or idea. If we say we are beautiful then we are beautiful!. If we say we are clumsy, then we will probably stumble and knock over things and repeat the matra "I am clumsy".

Too often, today our negative self talk (words) and even our smallest negative expressions will plant seeds of fear, doubt, caution, reservation, or disbelief within us. If we say "I don't think I will do well on this test or That task is so hard or The problem is so big" then we begin by going in the wrong direction.

Think carefully about your daily words, thoughts and beliefs. Even if you are an extremely positive, optimistic, successful and forward thinking person count how many times a day negative or distracting thoughts enter your mind. The two voices you hear "in your head", the one negative and the one positive are always battling for your mind. Take care to know that your destiny is, in part, based on the courage you show and the choices you make. Choose the positive path. Choose positive words, thoughts and ideas grounded in the belief that you are on a path, a mission, a destiny. Practice choosing words and thoughts that "cast out" disbelief and honor what is in your heart, your hopes and dreams, your love and destiny.

Gratitude Is Grace

Having gratitude, appreciation and joy for the people, events and moments in your life is a reflection of who you are. Appreciation and gratitude is joy in action. It serves as the outward expression of what is important to you and in your life. In the chaos of everyday living it is easy to get caught up in the demands placed on us. It is easy to forget to give a simple "nod" to the bellman or a smile to a waitress. I find it can become very easy to be self focused and "righteous" about who I am and why the world should recognize me. But the fact is that I earn my self esteem and reflect my self value when I take a moment to compliment another or recognize someone else's contribution to my life. Often these times, moments, acts are seemingly small and simple things yet the little things are often really the big things in our lives. And the things that we brood over, show anger or impatience over or fuss about are often gone in a flash and to the point where we don't remember what was so important only minutes or hours ago. Take time to say "thanks" appreciate your goodness, say thanks to GOD for the toes on your feet, your eyesight and the people who touch you every day in some small way. Shared gratitude is contagious and truly a "pay it forward" type of energy. The expression of appreciation and gratitude is an investment in yourself and in your life. Be gracious to others and yourself by showing gratitude and appreciation.