About ten years ago I was in a kind of slump in my business and career. It was a time when I was doing "just OK", nothing special. I spent some time thinking about my actions and results. I also retraced my past successes to see if there was a common denominator between the times I had had special and accelerated success. I came to the realization that I had had several "cycles" of success in my adult business life and that with each period of success there had been a kind of formula or "model" which I replicated over and over. In one instance I had created the model with a strategy that had been fulfilled. In the other two instances I had begun having success with my actions, then discovered that a formula was present, and even though I had stumbled onto the model, I, at least, had the common sense to simply replicate the formula leading to more and more success. The point of all this is that it is important to reflect on your actions and the patterns that lead to success. If you can identify what it is that is leading to success you may find that by simply repeating the pattern you will harness a (sometimes hidden) formula and "pays off' like a slot machine. Certainly patterns and models and formulas can take the shape of actions and disciplines like steady work habits, networking, developing good communications skills, etc. But on an even more strategic level they can be found it types of customers, transaction sizes, typical orders, the time frame from order to delivery, customer payment terms, etc. Working for a large company I am used to serving two "masters": One is my customer the other is my employer. A big part of my personal success formulas are to make sure that I am presenting what my company can deliver.....while at the same time I am bringing the types of customers that suit my company's objectives. The bottom line is to understand that there are formulas and models for success and that by finding the right ingredients and timing you can create a type of business flow that may surpass your expectations.
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What leaps to mind when reading this from my perspective is that success formulas are personal, that is, individually tailored to each person. What works for one, might not for the other. As a mother and wishing to influence the success of my daughters, I struggle with letting them discover their own formula for success. It would just be so much easier if they listened to me and took my advice! As it doesn't work out that way, I am required to make the effort to understand them more fully and what makes them who they are.
I am thinking fairly constantly these days about Janine, back at Brown as she is, and hopefully on the road to recovery. Her unexpected and brutal descent into a period of sorrow devastated me perhaps more than her, feeling responsible for it in some part as I did. I greatly enjoy reading this blog post and love this photo of Borat, as she has the ability to mimic him superbly in an expression of her own special charm. She is very charming, this daughter of mine. I noticed this recently in the company of her new "cheri", her Japanese Johnny Depp. We were, to my great contentment, enjoying once again great conversation together at home, my daughters and their friends. The girls were trading stories about their respective internships in Cambodia and exchanging phrases in Khmer. God, what a family of linguists we are! Janine started up a word game with Julian in Japanese, as she had just enjoyed a trip to Tokyo with him. I marveled at her charm, her complete ability to be goofy, making up words that sounded Japanese which totally delighted her boyfriend. I am sure that he adores her! This charm, this zaniness, this free-form approach that she has to life almost always drives me crazy. I want to impose some routine on her, make her focused, more adult and mature. I recently realized that to do so would be to ruin the essence of who she is at this point in time. I only persist in my desire to validate myself and my world view and it would be so much more helpful to us both if I lost this compulsion.
I suppose that it is normal to worry about our children, to want to see them as extensions of ourselves. I always wanted my daughters to have European boyfriends, and they invariably choose the all-American, or worse, Asian! In the end, although more uncertain, isn't it more satisfying to see what they choose, what success formula works for them, to be witness to the unfolding of their personal story rather than impose versions of my own on them? I think that this is what has divided me from and caused the current dislocation I feel with my own parents. They never came to terms with my personal choices, as the difference of my choices threatened them and their restricted view of life. What might be best for my daughters and I is to not repeat this sadness.
Oddly, in posting on this blog, I realize so completely how much of my life is based on not getting what I wanted, my failures and the lack of success! Perhaps my personal success formula presents most vividly by working through my errors and mistakes of the past to the becoming of a new person.
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