One law or principal of success is that every decision you make, every choice you make, moves you toward or away from your goal. It is one of the reasons why having a clear goal or objective is so important. It is also a key reason why the ability to focus on high value actions is important to achieving your goal. But it is true that every choice or decision you make has the effect of transporting you toward or away from your goal. Sometimes this is obvious and sometimes it is more subtle. If you choose to skip a class you might not get the "A" you wanted in that class. But let's say that you attend all of your classes, do all the homework but decide to not study before the big exam. You also may not get the A you said you wanted. Many times our use or allocation of time is what "steals away" from our achieving a certain goal. If we want to earn one million dollars yet we are unwilling to give up our weekly bridge game we may find that our income goal was not as important to us as our leisure or social goal. In this regard sometimes our true goals are defined as much by our actions as they are by our stated objective. Choosing many interests can make us a "well rounded individual" and yet sometimes that prevents us from being the "specialist" we need to be to achieve that one goal we want to achieve. Even who we choose to spend our time with, how much time we spend effects achievement of our goal. Self talk effects whether or not we reach our goal. How much time we spend on problems vs. how much time we spend on solutions effects whether or not we achieve our goals. If you find that you are struggling to achieve a certain goal or timetable in achieving your goal ask yourself: "What things may I be doing to undermine achieving my goal"....if you answer honestly you will often find that you are "self sabotaging your efforts by making choices that take away from the energy, time, focus, or actions that will result in the achievement of your goal. Learn to become conscious of the choices that you make, even the smallest ones concerning use of your time, and whether they lead you toward or away from your goals.
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There is perhaps no more revealing choice than what we wear as knowing what not to wear is a gift not all of us possess. If you have any doubt about this and like Friday night TV, I suggest that you tune in to watch Stacey and Clinton who will educate you with “What Not To Wear 101”. I'm glad that you finally gave me the opportunity to talk about my fashion choices as it lets me express my bountiful style and flaunt my body virtually - no harm to anyone!
Recently I came to a sad realization which shouldn't really surprise me, given my age: I look better in clothes than naked. This discovery is a little complicated as I actually like my body! I am also quite possibly the most fit person in my extended entourage, so this sounds like a typical woman obsessing about her body image. The problem is that I look great in clothes; that is, I wear clothes well. There is a very simple reason for this and it has nothing to do with physical beauty or even a bankroll. I look good in clothes as - surprise - I put effort into it. I think about and buy only what looks great on me. Notice that I did not say "good" but "great". Everyone could do this but they don't, despite the best efforts of Stacey and Clinton. The result of all this effort is that, more times than not, I am greeted with a "Hi, well, you're looking good!" I am convinced that this will be my epitaph. I have the real suspicion that, as satisfying as it is to look great in clothes, I am creating a false expectation that I will look great out of clothes! To test the veracity of this theory, I have decided to ask my lovers to take a bedroom survey after sex, maybe placed strategically bedside or sent by email later.
Please rate Nancy on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being perfection)
1) In clothes, does she look 30, 40 or 50 years old? (30 years old = 10)
2) Naked, does she look 40, 50 or 60 years old? (40 years old =10)
3) I prefer to see her in clothes
4) I prefer to see her naked
5) Clothed, then naked?
If my ratings appear low, I could always demonstrate an unfurl, body wave, back & forward bend, as well as the very useful downward dog, to influence my partners' scoring. So, ladies, a word to the wise to take great care with your fashion choices as it could have serious long term implications to your relationships. Dressing too well just might set the bar too high!
cont'd
Having spent some considerable time reflecting on the merits of clothing, I decided to mix up my work wardrobe the other day to see what would happen. I must confess that my office is uber-casual, being populated by young, gifted consultants who all got perfect scores on their SATs, future quants who have not yet shed the predilection for wearing flip flops in winter. Most people ask me directly, or at least wonder, if I am dressed up because I have a job interview that day. The "real" me is the girl who makes a date with the Bergdorf shoe sale twice yearly. I still bitterly regret my lack of foresight in not snapping up those orange fluo Chanel ballet flats last season. Brandi, of course, noticed right away that I was not wearing my Jimmy Choos, Louboutins, or Manolos but All Star Converse sneakers and skinny jeans. She proclaimed, to everyone gathered around, that I looked adorable, an adjective not usually used to describe a woman my age. She had been sure that even my bedroom slippers had kitten heels! My altered appearance threw everyone into a tizzy and my picture was even taken, I hope not for the website.
Wasting time when I should have been working, I began thinking about how much fun it had been to throw everyone off with my wardrobe change. This could be useful in relationships by enthralling my lovers with the unpredictable, thereby keeping things hot with a judicious use of style! This discovery of a way to make me an irresistible guy magnet came to me while thinking of someone who possesses an opposing quality that I treasure. For those in the pursuit of love, a major inducement to attraction is mystery, something I lack in abundance. According another their difference, up close I came to view my over-sharing as egregiously misguided in comparison. But what to do?
So in my deliciously circuitous fashion, I dispense with mystery, as much as I like it in others, as not my style and go for my personal expression of flava. Being extravagant and outrageous with the unpredictable use of surprise will keep my second husband on his toes and lusting daily. This lucky guy will feel a frisson on expectation when I call him to say, “I’m on my way home now”. He will be in expectation to see me, be with me, share our day over a meal, with a hug, or just a simple smile. We will be each other’s active, passionate, joyous, eternal and daily choice. Really, I’m done with being an after-thought, a passing fancy, a passive compromise. I want to feel the heat with somebody, somebody who could love me – in and out of clothes.
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