Every act of kindness, no matter how small, in fact especially small acts of kindness, are building blocks of character and self esteem. They also set the giver apart from the taker and reward the person who initiates the act of kindness as well as the person who receives the gift of kindness. President Ronald Reagan was known for his gracious and gentle manner. One quote, attributed to him, is "a gentleman is always kind". I like this idea, that a person of integrity, inherent goodness and great leadership qualities would also be a "giver". A very popular little book is "Random Acts of Kindness" and in it the author talks about small acts of kindness and how it feeds the soul of both giver and receiver. It is extremely important to recognize that we often touch people, for better or for worse, in the smallest, seamingly meaningless, and often in a momentary way. The simple words of "please" or "thank you" or "it is a pleasure to meet you" are powerful means to convey kindness, love, and respect. They tell a great deal about the giver. They are a means of "reaching out" or simply reaching through the barriers of uncertainty that sometimes separate strangers. Small acts of kindness don't usually involve money, they sometimes go unnoticed, but they always build the character, feed the soul and bring a sense of rightness and goodness to the giver. It is simply the right thing to do. So, perhaps you might open a door, or say you are sorry, offer to help, ask how he is feeling, "are you ok", pick up a piece of trash, fill your mothers car with gas, anything and everything in your day to day life. Little things that you would like to see another do or a society embrace. Kindness is giving.......to others and to yourself.
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This post reminds me of a recent “This American Life” episode which I listened to with great delight (Kindness of Strangers), especially as it takes place in NYC – a place, as they point out, not known for its kindness. It is worth a listen, if only to contemplate that not all acts of kindness lead where we think that they should.
It has been my experience that sometimes an act of kindness can masquerade as something else – ego misplaced. A woman I know in Aix had - as one example - the habit of very generously and effusively offering to help with my dinner parties and sounds like such a thoughtful friend; the problem was that she also had the annoying habit of taking over the menu, the venue and just about everything else. Instead of expressing real kindness by asking simply how she could be of help to me, her primary interest was manifestly to dominate the situation. To me, this felt like ego, not kindness. It was an interesting discovery that one can try to control through the altruistic act of kindness.
Random acts of kindness could be considered as a tiny manifestation of unconditional love as we don’t or shouldn’t expect anything in return. However, at times the need for reciprocity becomes complicated for me. I must admit that, especially with my loved ones, I yearn for them to be as kind to me as I am to them in a search for their validation. As I feel stronger and more empowered, I am gradually losing this need and rather, give myself up to the quiet, anonymous act of giving.
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